Its no secret that I haven’t been miss happy bee since making the move from Atlanta. In fact I’ve been just a big mess trying to love a situation and when new years came around I knew some changes needed to be made, I just didn’t know which ones exactly or where to even start. So I (embarrassingly) found myself roaming around the self help aisle, and bought 3 three books- how to stop feeling like shit, how to break up with your phone and money makeover. Because I knew I checked my phone too often, I knew my finances were a total shit hole, and both of these added together with my unhappiness in our current living situation meant I felt like shit all the time. Now, I’m very thankful for all that I do have- please don’t assume I’m some entitled unthankful prick. I just knew changes needed to be made, I wanted to be on the correct road not on a windy downward hill. I want to feel free.
I use to never make new years resolutions? Why, because ain’t nobody got time for that and I told myself everyday should be a new years resolution kind of day (but yeah uh that didn’t happen). I need new years to really open my eyes and make changes.
- How to stop feeling like shit: The biggest thing I took away from this book was the word, Shame. I never knew how much this effected me until reading about this in the very first chapter of the book. My entire life I felt shame that I didn’t do good enough academically, and it held me back from having meaningful relationships because I was embarrassed that I didn’t do good enough. Once I sat and thought about this, I realized this is so dumb and silly and who the fuck cares that much? In fact, I should be extremely proud of my academic success I majored in chemistry while having two kids and getting married. I did something kickass, not something I should be ashamed of. Realizing this made me so happy and honestly lifted a rock off my shoulders that I felt like I had been hiding under.
- How to Break Up with your phone: We all know we spend too much time, the most interesting thing about this book was how using our phone is re-wiring our brains. Our phone is making it impossible to pay attention and focus and you should read this book if you’ve already checked your phone while attempting to read this post.
- Money Makeover: Millenials suck so hard when it comes to finances and we like to say its not all our fault- there may be some truth in that- but the big truth is nothing is changing faster than your shitty financial situation. This really opened up my eyes though to what I need to do, today and was so useful. Today is better than tomorrow to start a change, as hard as it may be, not making a change just allows the problem to grow into a larger snowball of problems.
So how am i gonna stop feeling like shit in 2019. I’m going to be proud of my accomplishments and not talk them down.
I am giving up buying clothes and eating out for an entire year. The exception, is each time a debt is paid off we can order dominos and get a bottle of wine to celebrate. And buying coffee as a family gathering is ok, but it can just be basic coffee. I’m so tired of our debts; credit card and car bill being almost as much as our mortgage. Its exhausting. My husband and I were both in school at the same time and it meant we didn’t always have enough money for food, so my husband had to use a credit card to buy food at the end of the month. That for five years, will kill you. I know some states have food stamps, but we were in georgia (red) state and never qualified, even when we had kids. Yes we did eat a crap load of rice and beans and my husband worked three jobs while doing his phd and I worked before kids, we never shopped much and my husband still wears thrift ship clothes. Yet credit card debt happens and its just so important to me this year that we tackle this. We are only using cash this year as part of this resolution. The only thing I will use credit card for is my gym membership, because that’s all they take.
I am giving up going through my instagram feed for all of january, as a detox. The big thing this year, is I want to be more PRESENT.
I actually feel SO much better and I’m incredibly thankful for the awakening that new years brought on to me and I’m scared and excited all at once to join with my husband and myself and be consistent and stick to our goals.
I write all of this down as a post, not to say “hey I’m better than you for making new years resolutions” but to inspire others to not keep feeling unhappy and to really look at a deeper level of whats causing you to feel crappy or whats not bringing you happiness.
Pantless with wine. *just don’t give up drinking wine without your pants this year 😉 *